i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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