so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
