I hope mine doesn't look like that
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
