The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
