Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
