Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
