So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We left an ass print on the piano.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
