You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
