The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
