I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
