We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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