Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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