i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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