Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
