i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
