ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
