so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Randomize
