I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize