Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
