omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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