when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
