broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
