it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
