I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
