i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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