she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
