Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
