his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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