This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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