These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
