Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
