david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
