For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
