Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
