Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
