The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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