Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
