We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
