just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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