The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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