you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We don't watch enough power rangers
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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