we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
