I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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