Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize