Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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