ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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