I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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