There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
