i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
