BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize