I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
