Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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