ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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