When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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