I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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