Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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