i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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