we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
